From the things that happened, I have realized so many things about friendship. Friendship is built from simple greetings, laughters, jokes, getting-to-know each other stage, and most of all, from love and trust.
This blog is not just about friendship but is also about so many things. Few cents to cover are:
1. I learned that when friends say something bad about you, its your call whether you take it in a negative way, or the other way around. They say acceptance is the key, especially if you know that its true. And, your friends are not perfect, at the end of the day, you know that some of them’s got some negative comments about you. Deal with it.
2. If you found out that they said something behind your back, its much better to confront or talk to the person, rather than posting things on social networking sites, or spreading that story to other people/friends. By doing this, you avoid miscommunication between you and that friend, thus resolving things earlier than expected. The earlier you talk to them, the less hurtful things you might to say to him/her.
3. Issues between you and that friend will not be resolved if you keep on telling other people (outside of your peer group) your side of the story. People from outside of your group won’t help resolve the situation. Their comments won’t, but I guess a little unbiased advice will help. But then again, it is much advisable never to open the problem to other people outside of your group. Keep it in your group. Telling it to others would either mean that you can’t handle the situation or you’re trying to get their sympathy, or last one, you’re simply just trying to spread the news.
4. If you have a problem about somebody in your peer group, keep it between just the two of you. Do not try to get other’s votes on the situation and let them voice out their angsts to that person you have issues with. It makes the situation worse, and eventually destroys the foundation of your group. Instead of fixing your issues to that person, you try to get people that are with you in this situation, which is again, not going to help resolve the problem. Let them resolve their own issues with that person, for Pete’s sake.
5. Talking to that person is the only solution to the problem, not through talking to him thru text or posting non-sense whatevers on social media sites. If you can say things about that person on the internet or thru text, you should be able to talk to that person, straight to the face, and tell them what your problems are. Being able to stand for your case is the best thing you can do to get this over and done with. Not by being coward. Or if you want, let yourself calm down first, before you talk to him/her, to ensure that you won’t be so enraged with your emotions that you might hurt him/her.
6. If you have a fight with a friend, it is best to remember your good times with him/her. Always remember that you had the best moments with them. Cherish the friendship, save it, not destroy it. I know there are friendships that cannot be restored, but hey, at least you tried!
7. Do not count the good things you did for each other. Do not slap it to each other’s face. Long before you had problems with each other, you willingly did things for this person, lend him money, kept his/her secret, etc.
8. Praying for reconciliation is always the best thing on top of everything that is happening. Pray for peace of mind, forgiveness, and reconciliation. We may not be able to restore the friendship, but at least gain the act of being civil.
We’re grown-ups already and we know that issues within the group can still be fixed. Honest and open communication should be established in a friendship. Let us not be demons by our anger. Let us not have our emotions take over, for it is the one who keeps our senses down.